And if you want to love yourself, you want to clearly “see” your inner critic and deal with it effectively.
Yes, the inner critic. The demanding and harsh voice in your head that believes you are not good enough. That holds you up to very high standards, doesn’t give you a break, makes you feel bad when you do not achieve what you want, and doesn’t allow you to celebrate your wins because it thinks that you could have done better.
How can you love yourself when this voice is abusing you without control?
It takes time, dedication and persistence to learn how to deal with your inner critic. But the results are priceless.
Here is a way to start. Take paper and pen.
1. Write down all the thoughts your mind is creating related to a problem you are facing or a situation you want to improve. Do not judge the thoughts your mind is creating; simply capture them on paper.
2. Read your notes and separate the facts from the stories. Usually, there are few facts. Almost all of your thoughts are invented by your mind. For example, “I can’t build a business” is a story; “I have two children” is a fact.
3. Question whether the stories your mind is telling yourself are serving you. You don’t care if your mind believes the stories are true. A story is a story; it is just a perception and can be changed. Ask yourself if the stories your mind has created benefit you.
4. Select the stories that make you feel bad (= do not serve you), and look for reasons why the opposite might also be true. Create new empowering stories that benefit you and make you feel great. For example, you could ask yourself, “How can I build a business?”
Don’t forget to include compassionate, loving and kind thoughts towards yourself. You deserve them!
Repeat this simple exercise every day or any time your inner critic shows up.
This exercise allows you to practice stepping back from your thoughts, observe what’s happening inside your brain, separate the information that serves you from the one that doesn’t, and reframe the latter by creating new empowering stories.
Let me know how it goes, and if you struggle with the exercise, do not hesitate to contact me. I am here to help.