You tend to run away from it. Sadness, anger and fear don’t feel good. Naturally, you don’t want to experience it. So you ignore it, resist it, or push it away. You do what you can to return to a state of happiness as soon as possible.
Does this approach work for you?
Unfortunately, this automatic copying mechanism it’s a poor strategy that most likely ends up leaving you even more frustrated than when the unpleasant emotion initially appeared.
Emotions are a combination of thoughts with bodily sensations. They are messages that your mind is sending to you to communicate something. If you don’t pay attention to them, the mind feels ignored and ends up, in most cases, sending the message again and again. Hence the unpleasant emotion doesn’t defuse.
I hear you asking. So what should I do?
Observe the emotion objectively and non-judgmentally. Letting go of resistance and tension that you naturally create towards the unpleasant feeling—allowing the emotion to manifest and sitting with it for a little while. Accept it.
You want to treat the emotion for what it is: a message from the mind. You could ask yourself, what is my mind trying to communicate to me?
Acceptance does not mean resignation. You are not a victim of your unpleasant emotions; instead, you are responsible for transforming them.
So here it comes a powerful inspiration I had a few weeks back at a spiritual retreat; stay with me.
“If you are feeling an unpleasant emotion, it is because you are not seeing the truth.”
What does this mean?
It means that the reality your mind has created around the situation is not the truth. It is simply a story—a way to look at things that is possibly flawed and not beneficial.
And guess what? You can choose what story to believe. You can explore different perspectives and choose one that serves you, that benefits you, that makes you feel good.
In a nutshell: allowing the unpleasant emotion to express and staying with it might sound counterproductive, but it’s not. It’s fundamental to observe what the mind is communicating instead of running away from it. And if you are not happy with the reality that your mind has created around the subject, don’t give it for granted. Instead, explore different perspectives and create a new story that makes you feel better.
What emotions would you like to allow, observe, accept and transform? What new perspective do you choose to create of that reality?
Rewrite the story to your benefit and enjoy your new mindset!
PS: If you want to know more about how to recognize, accept and transform harmful behaviours of your mind, I invite you to check out this short video. Or, DM me. I’d love to help 🙂