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How are you making choices based on ‘I should’ as opposed to ‘I want’?

I asked this question to a client of mine. She answered: “I’ve lived my whole life in fear of being rejected or shamed. I thought if someone didn’t like me, it meant I did something wrong and was unlovable. Therefore, I put my focus and energy into controlling the future to prevent any shaming experiences. I did a lot of what I thought I ‘should’ do to avoid rejection instead of what I actually wanted to be doing with my time.”

Sounds familiar? 

Whether you relate or not to her experience, we all have some blind spots that make us operate from ‘I should’ rather than ‘I want’. Often, we are not aware of this happening, especially if we have been unconsciously doing it for years. 

My invitation is to slow down for a moment and ask yourself this question, answering it with complete honesty. Even if painful, there is so much power in becoming aware of the unhelpful behaviours of our mind by bringing them to light. There is even more power in investigating, questioning and transforming them. 

Here is how she goes on in her reflection: “Thanks to mindful awareness, I now realise that I am safe and that I don’t need to constantly live from future-based fear. I can do what I want now because Now is all there is. And right now, I am worthy, regardless of what anyone thinks of me. ‘Should’ is fear’s language.”

Where in your life are you making choices based on ‘I should’ as opposed to ‘I want’? Are you ready to change it?

Love. Simone

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Outcome

  • strong commitment to turning your vision into reality
  • Someone next to you that supports and guides you through the journey
  • Expanded horizons, wider perspectives and increased awareness
  • A calmer, more positive and balanced mind
  • Deeper and healthier relationships with those you care about
  • Clarity around who you are, who you want to be and what you really want 
  • A specific action plan that will be your roadmap to accomplish your vision
  • A feeling of confidence, excitement, motivation and contentment. 

The Plan

Define how you will achieve what you want
How will you accomplish your vision?
What specific actions will you take?
What habits, people and places fill you with energy and will support you through the journey?
What skills or knowledge do you want to acquire?

 

The Challenge

Do the deep inner work you need so that nothing can hold you back
What are your biggest challenges right now?
What is holding you back the most?
How do you underestimate yourself the most?
What thoughts and emotions would you most benefit from transforming?
What new empowering beliefs do you want to create?
How can you play to your strengths?

The Why

Have clarity on why achieving your vision is important
Why do you want to achieve that?
How achieving your vision would improve your life?
How will you feel when you get there?

The Dream

Create an inspiring vision of who you want to be and where you want to go
What do you want?
What does your ideal life look like?
What is your biggest dream?

The Reality

Be clear about where you are and what you want to change
Where are you now?
What is your current situation?
What are your biggest challenges right now?

 

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