It’s a common scenario in our fast-paced world, where curiosity often makes us feel overwhelmed rather than understand. But what if I told you there’s a power in pausing, asking just one question, and then—wait for it—actually listening to the answer?

Picture this: You’re in a meeting, the air thick with the usual small talk or the drone of an all-too-familiar agenda. The conversation is safe, yet unsatisfying, skating on the surface of what really matters. It’s a scene too many of us know. But there’s a way out, a simple yet profound shift that can transform these interactions into moments of deep connection and discovery.

Ask: “What’s on your mind?” 

Michael Bungay, a renowned expert in coaching, believes that the question “What’s on your mind?” is your golden key. It’s open-ended, inviting the other person to dive into what truly matters to them at that moment. It’s not about directing the conversation but trusting the other to lead, showing genuine interest and respect for their thoughts and feelings. This approach signals, “Let’s talk about the thing that matters most.”

Now, let’s delve deeper into the realms of coaching: Performance vs. Development. While coaching for performance focuses on solving immediate problems, coaching for development shifts the spotlight to the person facing the challenge. It’s about fostering growth, learning, and improvement, moving beyond the issue at hand to explore the individual’s broader journey.

Imagine a conversation that not only addresses the immediate hurdles of a project or task but also invites reflection on personal patterns, team dynamics, and deeper behavioural changes. Here, the 3Ps come into play: Projects, People, and Patterns. This framework encourages a holistic view, prompting us to consider not just the task but the human experience surrounding it.

So, what does this all lead to? A culture of continuous growth, where individuals feel valued not just for what they do but for who they are and who they can become. It’s about creating a space where vulnerability is strength, and curiosity leads to transformation.

As leaders, or leaders-to-be, our task is not just to manage but to inspire, to coach not just for performance but for life. It’s a journey that starts with a single question and unfolds into a path of endless possibilities.

So, I challenge you: Next time you’re in a conversation, resist the urge to add another question. Ask, “What’s on your mind?” and let the magic of listening do the rest. Who knows what doors it might open?

Love. Simone